The Lamb Loin Chop Rip Off

One of my favourite things cooked on a braai is Lamb Loin chops. I like them done like you would get a steak in a good Steakhouse. Cooked over very hot coals so that they are charred on the outside but still medium/rare and juicy on the inside. Most people however throw them on the fire, leave them for 45 minutes while have a few "Dops", turn them over and then leave them for another 45 minutes while consuming another few "Dops". The dry and cremated remains are now ready. Anyway, each unto his own and the purpose of this chapter is to show how we are being totally ripped off for these by the local butchers. 


This is an image of the typical Loin chop that you get here in South Africa.

 What the hell is that disgusting "thingy" hanging from the chop at the bottom left??? It is actually a piece of flank(stewing meat) that is left on by the butcher in order to boost his profits. It is chewy and at R120.00 per kg (Price I paid at Pick n Pay yesterday) is an insult to our intelligence. (I made the butcher cut it off BEFORE weighing the meat).
If you ever watch overseas cooking channels on T.V you will notice that this is a purely South African thing.


Here is an image from Google Images of what Loin chops should look like. Time to stand up and stop taking it.

Boerewors

O.K. I have been very slack with this blog but with "National Braai Day" coming up on the 24th September, it is time to get it up to date.


Today I would like to write about a particularly nasty element to the braai, known as "Boerewors", "Boerrie" or simply "Wors". The name translated means "Farmers Sausage".
Now this used to be one of the really nice elements of the braai, succulent, spicy and juicy. I remember when I was young and living in Stellenbosch that there were two Tannies (Aunts) who used to make boerewors once a year for the Church Fete. It was so superb that people used to queue up from 5.30am to get it and it was always sold out within an hour of the doors opening at 8.00am. The Wors was so good that it was a meal on its own and you would rather eat it than the usual lamb chops at the braai. "Sigh" how things have changed!


Nowadays Wors is regarded as a "Filler Upper" so that you are not still hungry at the end of the meal. If you ever go into a butchery department of your local supermarket and watch the butcher cutting up a carcass, he has a large white plastic container on the floor next to him, into which he throws all the excess fat and other inedible bits. Do you think that these are going to be thrown away? No ways, they are the ingredients for the next batch of Boerewors!! My friend, Neil always jokes "Foreskins and Eyelashes" are the main ingredients of Wors these days. Along with a huge amount of fat.


Now the only way to cook this abomination is to braai the hell out of it so that all the fat runs out. You end up with a dry, still greasy and tasteless mess. Antacid tablets are a must after eating this stuff. Seriously, this rubbish can kill you.


I have heard that things are different in the Northern Part of the country,where the making of Boerewors is still an art. However, sadly, here in the Cape, most of what I have written definitely applies.

Number one Culprit. The Braai Fork.

When I was about 5 or 6 years old, my family quite often used to go down to a friend of my parents farm on the Crocodile River in Gauteng. About an hour or so's drive from Johannesburg where we lived. 

The lunch was usually lovely lamb loin chops cooked on the braai and I have fond memories of this. Now, let me explain. My mother was a Cordon Bleu cook and this is where I got my love of good food and cooking. 

Needless to say, she did the braaing and would brook no interference from the manne, I remember her first lesson to me. This was before the days of braai tongs and the only way to turn meat was with a fork. She stressed that the only way to turn a lamb chop was to only stick the fork into the fat and NOT into the meat. She explained that if the meat got pierced, all the juice would run out. 

Now even at that age a had a questioning mind and I decided to put it to the test. I was allocated 2 lamb chops to cook. One I only turned by piercing the fat section and the other I speared it full on in the middle. When I ate my meal, the results were easy to determine which was which. The pierced chop was dry and the fat only pierced one was juicy and succulent.

I have passed the little bit of advice to many friends over the years. Some have listened and others ignore my foolish rant.

Here we go

O.K. What prompted me to start this blog is the average South Africans obsession with one of our national pastime known as the "Braai". (Barbeque for non South Africans).

To me this has usually signifies tasteless overcooked meat. The cooking is usually done by the men in the family/group/tribe accompanied by copious amounts of alcohol ending up in less than a gourmet experience.

I have a friend, Dion, from my windsurfing and cycling days who used to invite us around for a braai at the drop of a hat. He had just built a Braai Lapa with its own bar on to his house and was justifiably proud of it. The problem was that we used to arrive at about 7.00pm expecting a roaring fire and smells of garlic bread. When one arrived, nothing was happening except an invitation for a dop. Now I am usually ravenously hungry by this time of day and would suggest we get the fire started. "Lots of time for that" was Dions reply. About 8.00pm he would start the fire and by 9.00pm it had burned down to a lovely bed of coals. "A bit too early" Dion would say and add a lot more wood to the fire. About 10.30pm the fire would be "reg" again and the meat would go on. After cremating it for about an hour he would then announce that it looked ready and this dried tough and taseless mess would go into the "Braai Bak" to keep warm while we had another drink. (There will be a whole separate chapter on the "Braai Bak").

After a while I got wise and would arrive at 7.00. Light the fire myself,  cook my meal as soon as it was ready and then eat it. Dion could then add more wood to the fire and do his thing.